Category: Dating and Relationships
Hey. Okay, so I really really liked, and still like, this one guy. Okay, so for the first time in my entire life, I decided to let him know. I composed a ratherwell-written and expressive note to him, and gave it to him. Well, okay. I cheated, I had a friend do it but hey same dif! So yeah, his reaction was undetermined, except that he was pacing back and fourth for a split second. For the remainder of the school year, he simply, well, ignored me. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!! So much for being out-going and straight-forward!
How long have you known this guy? If it was for a short period maybe he felt you were going too fast? Or he got the wrong signals or idea of the letter. A few other suggestions: He might have a gf already and doesn't want to hurt you? He's too shy and not ready for that kind of comittment? He maybe didn't like the way you approached him by saying it in a letter. The best way to say how you feel is to say it verbally instead of writing it in a letter and expecting a response.
Brutal truths/opinions ahead, you've been warned! If he was sighted, which I'm assuming he was, he might have been turned off by your being blind, assuming you are. I'm sorry to say, but in my experience, sighted people automatically demote you to a lower level based on your disabilities. He may have avoided you hence just so he wouldn't have to hurt you... because they also seem to have a strange sympathetic view that we're children who mustn't get our feelings hurt. Or I could be wrong and he did indeed have a girl friend already ()although I'm sure he could've came out and said it). Too many factors, but I'm hinging on the first from my experience.
Wrathe, ouch, eeehm I think that's a bit uncalled for. I've dated blind as well as sightd people and my sighted girl friends had no problem with my blindness at all (hehe well 2 of them it's not as if I've dated a whole bunch of people mind you) and I think just because you are turned down there is no need to blame your blindness for that. I think too many blind people do this automatically, just because someone is not attracted to you doesn't mean they don't want to be with you due to your blindness, how many sighted people get turned down every day by people they are attracted to, sorry but, no, this argument does not hold water really.
And I think this "oh I'm blind, that's why no sighted person likes me" attitude can be very dangerous and not good for self improvement.
But, as for the original problem, well, if you like someone dont tell them in a letter, it's awkward, they are shy and don't know how to react and they will not like the fact you didn't have the guts to tell them in person. I know it's tempting to just write a letter and let things happen but in all honnesty very few romances are sparked that way. Also if this person is someone who doesn't even know you that well you need to work a lot harder to gain their attention or make friends with them first beore making amove on them. I actually did the same thing in 6th grade when I first had a cursh on a girl, she nevr talked about it to me and we were never really friends and of course nothing came of it, in retrospect it's kind of cute and funny really.
But, yeah, well if you don't put your heart out there you'll never get someone, just try to let peopple know in person next time, not in a letter, just a minor setback *smiles* that right person will come along.
cheers
-B
I wasn't trying to downplay or discriminate, I was pointing out experiences... and yes, I have actually had a very nice relationship with a sighted girl (in fact, it was actually one of my best and most educational ones). But I'm being realistic about it. Sighted people in general, will judge by physical perfection. After all, why get a water melon which has some blemmishes when you can find one that's nice and clean of deformities in the skin... even though we don't eat the rind.
There are definitely exceptions to the rule, and I fully realize that, and one should definitely not turn themselves off to aspirations of the opposite gender simply based on that fact. But... You've got to wonder if that might not have been a contributing reason.
Well, it could've been a contributing reason but there are so many imperfections out there, what if a person smokes or is overweight or very poor. does badly in school, is an alcoholic or into drugs etc. I mean yes, every person is but a sum of their qualities and faults and being blind is a bit of a drawback, hehe especially for blind people themselves, so it might hve played a role but if you always think thoughts like "I'm blind no need hitting on a sighted person, he/she would never be interested" that's not very self affirming is it,, and certainly you willnever succeed if you think this way.
Well yeah I see what yall are saying. The really weird thing is, we did know each other semiwell...i think, but you know I can't really answer that question because I can't read his mind. But yeah, he seemed pretty comfortable around me anyway. Oh well whatever. Yeah, I should have just told him, that's about as much courage as I can muster, lol I know I'm so immature when it comes to this stuff, but seriously, as a lot of you already know, I am a lot better at expressing myself through writing rather than words, but still. Yall have broght up a very good point about that though, I mean a lot of sighted people think that blindies such as many of us are like incapable, and would just be a burden! Oh yeah? Well not for long! Wahaha!
Right on. A fighter spirit is the best spirit. Go get'em, but don't spill the milk shake, smiles.
brooke, just keep being urself, and the right one will come along. *smiles* all you can do is be urself, and know things will all fall into place.
Hey it better that you took a risk, I know that he no longer talks to you but still sometimes its better to take a risk. Ok you did not lose anything its fine to go for it once in awhile just don’t do it all the time at least now you know.